Positive Parental Relationship
Sep 14, 2018
Being an Adolescent
It is a common knowledge that parents are the key players in fostering their children’s well-being and self-worth. With the advances of neuroimaging we can now see how our brain develops and how human interaction impacts the rewiring of the brain. Recently, for example, a discovery emerge that the children’s brain is like a sponge absorbing information, providing a framework for dramatic restructuring into adulthood self-efficacy.
The way we relate and provide a safe environment for our children from the onset can make a huge difference in maturation of the brain. And this is where positive daily interactions play a vital role. For example, if a child is hurt and comforted, hungry and fed, angry and understood, the positive memories regenerated and feel secured. There’s also evidence that our nervous system, which kindles calmness and self-regulation can be activated through human touch, hug, friendly pat or kind inspiring positive words. Therefore, healthy relationships are an important aspect of brain development and neural functioning throughout the lifecycle and each developmental stage is crucial to a life-long wellbeing.
So, what does it mean to go through adolescence? Recent studies suggest, it starts during a physiological change at puberty roughly around 10 years old to twenty-five years old. Some experts roughly divided it into three physiological and psychological developmental stages: early (puberty), middle (teenagers) and late adolescence. It is also viewed as transitional period between childhood and adulthood.
Aside from the obvious physical growth spurt, there are also changes in adolescents’ attitude and behaviour. They like to spend more time with peers over the family, as if not listening anymore, don’t want to talk are opinionated, grumpy, sleep after midnight, roll their eyes or shrug their shoulders when reprimanded or seek out thrills and engage in risky behaviours, like smoking, drinking etc. These can be perceived as disrespectful and ungrateful that may cause huge misunderstandings and family conflicts. These “misbehaviours”, although not tolerated, are a natural process, dictated by rapid neurodevelopmental changes and remodelling of the brain.
The limbic area in the teenagers’ brain responsible for reward, instinctive and risk- taking processing matures first during this period and the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for logical thinking, self- control and thinking ahead is developed by the age of 25 years old. This mismatch of maturation may create a havoc in adolescence life. But on the other hand, the drive for risk taking and immediate gratification, urge them to explore outside the comfort of their family parameter and develop their own identity. During this period, the brain is also agile and flexible, a great opportunity for learning and practice life skills. This is the time to support them take healthy risk and rehearse on being independent with parental unconditional love, connection and positive role model.
Malou Bromley, our NISP Whole School Counsellor brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise in a counselling profession and in education sector, with over thirty years of experience. Aside from her passion in school counselling she has also worked as a Family Court Mediator, Employment Assistance Programme (EAP) Provider, Crisis Intervention Facilitator, Restorative Practitioner and a Clinical Supervisor. She also facilitates different personal development and social related programmes such as: parenting, anger management, peer mediation, stress management, Effective Communication etc.
Malou believes that supporting people with unconditional positive regards can work wonders in the helping profession. And to maintain this wisdom calls for the inner strength as a continuous growing edge.
She is a member of New Zealand Association of Counsellors, a New Zealand Teachers’ Council Registered and an affiliate member of the “Arbitrators and Mediators Institute of New Zealand” (AMINZ).
Malou is married with three grown up children and nowadays, also enjoys being a grandma of a one- year –old granddaughter.
For further information or for any parental related concerns you can contact Malou Bromley:
bromley.m@nexus.edu.my or +60 3 8889 3868
It is a common knowledge that parents are the key players in fostering their children’s well-being and self-worth. With the advances of neuroimaging we can now see how our brain develops and how human interaction impacts the rewiring of the brain. Recently, for example, a discovery emerge that the children’s brain is like a sponge absorbing information, providing a framework for dramatic restructuring into adulthood self-efficacy.
The way we relate and provide a safe environment for our children from the onset can make a huge difference in maturation of the brain. And this is where positive daily interactions play a vital role. For example, if a child is hurt and comforted, hungry and fed, angry and understood, the positive memories regenerated and feel secured. There’s also evidence that our nervous system, which kindles calmness and self-regulation can be activated through human touch, hug, friendly pat or kind inspiring positive words. Therefore, healthy relationships are an important aspect of brain development and neural functioning throughout the lifecycle and each developmental stage is crucial to a life-long wellbeing.
So, what does it mean to go through adolescence? Recent studies suggest, it starts during a physiological change at puberty roughly around 10 years old to twenty-five years old. Some experts roughly divided it into three physiological and psychological developmental stages: early (puberty), middle (teenagers) and late adolescence. It is also viewed as transitional period between childhood and adulthood.
Aside from the obvious physical growth spurt, there are also changes in adolescents’ attitude and behaviour. They like to spend more time with peers over the family, as if not listening anymore, don’t want to talk are opinionated, grumpy, sleep after midnight, roll their eyes or shrug their shoulders when reprimanded or seek out thrills and engage in risky behaviours, like smoking, drinking etc. These can be perceived as disrespectful and ungrateful that may cause huge misunderstandings and family conflicts. These “misbehaviours”, although not tolerated, are a natural process, dictated by rapid neurodevelopmental changes and remodelling of the brain.
The limbic area in the teenagers’ brain responsible for reward, instinctive and risk- taking processing matures first during this period and the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for logical thinking, self- control and thinking ahead is developed by the age of 25 years old. This mismatch of maturation may create a havoc in adolescence life. But on the other hand, the drive for risk taking and immediate gratification, urge them to explore outside the comfort of their family parameter and develop their own identity. During this period, the brain is also agile and flexible, a great opportunity for learning and practice life skills. This is the time to support them take healthy risk and rehearse on being independent with parental unconditional love, connection and positive role model.
Stay tuned for next month: Positive Parenting Tips for Adolescents
Or for further information, you can also visit our Nexus school library “parenting” section.
Malou Bromley, our NISP Whole School Counsellor brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise in a counselling profession and in education sector, with over thirty years of experience. Aside from her passion in school counselling she has also worked as a Family Court Mediator, Employment Assistance Programme (EAP) Provider, Crisis Intervention Facilitator, Restorative Practitioner and a Clinical Supervisor. She also facilitates different personal development and social related programmes such as: parenting, anger management, peer mediation, stress management, Effective Communication etc.
Malou believes that supporting people with unconditional positive regards can work wonders in the helping profession. And to maintain this wisdom calls for the inner strength as a continuous growing edge.
She is a member of New Zealand Association of Counsellors, a New Zealand Teachers’ Council Registered and an affiliate member of the “Arbitrators and Mediators Institute of New Zealand” (AMINZ).
Malou is married with three grown up children and nowadays, also enjoys being a grandma of a one- year –old granddaughter.
For further information or for any parental related concerns you can contact Malou Bromley:
bromley.m@nexus.edu.my or +60 3 8889 3868
